Category Archives: Holiday

Beach, Please.

We all know that one Emerson quote (frequently used to caption Instagram posts) that says something about living in the sunshine, swimming in the sea, and drinking the wild air, riiiight? Although it was a quote ruined by basic bitches, it’s still a good one. There is something so purifying about being near the sea.

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Right now it is 19 degrees in Pittsburgh and there is fresh snowfall on the ground. I am beyond grateful that I got to spend my birthday weekend visiting friends in sunny AF south Florida with my husband. I hope that the memories of the colorful lifeguard stands of South Beach and the crystal clear waters of Ft Lauderdale can carry me through the winter. At the very least, I have enough blog material to pretend like I’m somewhere sunny for the rest of the year…

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Sweater/Wildfox (similar), Swimsuit/Target

Cats Vs Christmas Decor

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Joel and I are pretty much the epitome of “cat people”, but somehow when we adopted Peter and Dee last October, we got stuck with the most dog-like kittens I’ve ever met. Sweet Dee loves to play fetch with wrappers. Peter Nincompoop loves belly rubs and chasing his tail. Thank God they don’t have to be walked outside to poop or I’d contemplate a no refund return of these assholes (KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY, WE LOVE THEM WAY TOO MUCH!).

Last November, we put up our Christmas tree as a family of four and didn’t think much about what our children cats would do about it. The next morning, on my way to turn on the coffee pot, I screamed as I cut my foot on something. When I turned on the lights, I saw that our floor was littered with broken ornaments. Cool! A few days later, after getting into the habit of turning the lights on before going downstairs, I saw a trail made of tufts of fur leading all the way from the tree up the stairs and into the bathroom… It was the stuffed raccoon ornament my mother-in-law had given me the year before, torn to shreds by Peter. Lovely!

Somehow, these little dummies were smart enough to do all of their dirty work when we were either asleep or at work. We’d come home and they’d practically say “it wasn’t me” when there’d be cat sized gaps in the Christmas tree (cat translation: “meow meowwww meow”). The cycle continued until we put away our Christmas tree early, before New Year’s Day whereas it used to stay up until Valentine’s. Womp Womp.

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“I’m gonna tear that shit up later” -Peter

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well, call us crazy because we not only put up the tree with our old glass ornaments, but we surrounded the kitty house with lights as well- definitely a recipe for disaster (see also: the fate of the cat in Christmas Vacation). The only preventative measure we took this year has been leaving our little Yoda dressed as Santa ornament in a cabinet far far away because Peter Boy will eat him; that and we now have a spray bottle that is used if they even look like they’re getting any ideas about messing with the tree/lights…

So far, so good. I’ve only seen 2 broken ornaments and the gold sequin tree skirt (it’s actually the sweetheart table tablecloth from our wedding) is only sometimes askew. Maybe our babies are just growing up! Most likely, though, keeping the spray bottle pointed at the tree through the night is helping to stop Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb from acting out…

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Cats-2, Christmas Tree-0, Spray Bottle- (too many to count)

Another Blumer Birthday!

Just two weeks and two days after my husband’s birthday, comes MINE (Joel is two years, two weeks, and two days older than me)! Since turning 28 isn’t as big of a deal as turning 30, I recycled Joel’s balloons instead of getting my own with the correct numbers… You get the idea though: TODAY’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

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I have a tendency to make way too big of a deal out of my birthday (I went to New Orleans last year and had this party the year before), and this year is no different. We’re heading to sunny Florida for the weekend, which is perfect timing because it’s supposed to snow in PGH on Saturday. BYEEEEE.

While we’re on the subject of birthdays, I guess I should wish a very happy one to my Uncle David, Nikki Minaj, and my very own twin sister, Bessie. Hope y’all have birthdays for the books!

Binge Worthy

Speaking of wearing robes and being cozzzzyyyy…

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year!!!! My favorite part of the holiday season is the part with no plans in sight and nothing to do. Does it count as “dolce far niente” if the TV is on? Yes, it does. I’ve done my research, and have found the best shows to binge watch (and which to avoid) during your well deserved time off. So kick back, relax, and turn on the ROKU.

NETFLIX

  1. The Office/30 Rock/ Parks and Rec- The holy trinity of goofiness. Everyone needs some comic relief in their life! We re-watch one of these annually and rotate between them.
  2. Breaking Bad- Seriously, this show is probably the best show ever made and it’s EVEN BETTER when you go back and watch it again. So many Easter Eggs and so much foreshadowing!
  3. Gossip Girl- I was v anti GG when it first aired because I was loyal to the books, but what started as a guilty pleasure show to watch while I drink coffee in the mornings or when Joel’s working late, has turned into a full-on addiction. So bad, it’s good.
  4. Pretty Little Liars- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT GET SUCKED INTO WATCHING THIS. We made the mistake of binging the first two seasons when we had the flu and it was such a waste of time because nothing ever happens.
  5. Skins (British Version)- I may be pushing 28, but I guess I have this thing with teenage drama.
  6. The Great British Bake- YAAAAAAAAS, but don’t watch if you’re hungry.

 

HULU

  1. The OC- Speaking of teenage drama, this show singlehandedly shaped my youth. I was obsessed in 2004 and with the exception of the fashion choices and the cameo appearance of Paris Hilton in season 1, it holds up. Even the last season was not as terrible as I remembered it.
  2. The Mindy Project- Danny and Mindy 4ever!
  3. Younger- Another guilty pleasure show that I couldn’t turn off.
  4. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills- If you’re going to watch any housewives series, this is the ones to commit to because they’re the most glamorous and the most dramatic.
  5. The Handmaid’s Tale- One of those rare occurrences where the movie/tv adaptation is better than the book!

 

AMAZON PRIME

  1. The Grand Tour- IDGAF about cars, but Joel got me looooving this show! It’s so over the top and ridiculous, plus I love me some dry British humor.
  2. The Man In The High Castle- Nope, sorry. Great concept and cool intro, but terrible execution.
  3. Z: The Beginning of Everything- I read the book version of Zelda Fitzgerald’s life and loved it! I only watched the first episode of the show, but my BFF and sister love it and I trust their opinions.

 

Well, it’s been fun, but I have to go see what happens between Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass… Happy binge season to you all!

XOXO, Gossip Girl Sarah

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Blumer Birthday!

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVORITE PERSON, BEST FRIEND, CAT DIDDY, PARTNER IN REAL ESTATE AND PARTNER IN LIIIIIIFE, MY HUSBAND, JOEL TIGER BLUMER!!!!

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I have a lot to be thankful for in life and having Joel is always at the top of the list. Turning 30 is a big freaking deal and I’m so glad I get to celebrate with you!

p.s. this post counts as the written portion of your birthday gift. xoxo.

 

Halloween 2017!

Is it just me or is celebrating Halloween even more fun as an adult than as a kid?! Maybe that’s because anything that involves dressing up and drinking beer is my idea of a good time. As you may or may not know, Joel and I wear a well thought out couples costume every year, and even though we opted out of throwing our annual party, it’s not like we were just going to skip dressing up entirely! So with an original idea in mind and a costume contest at a bar to enter, we went to the spookiest place to buy the materials needed… A real life hell on earth, my least favorite place, Walmart. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

The concept: Joel would be King Kong. I would not be the sexy blonde lady that fits into  the palm of the big ape’s hand, but rather, the iconic Empire State Building (complete with blonde Barbie hanging onto the spire for dear life). Funny, right?!

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Materials:

  • Gorilla Onesie
  • 4 Poster Boards
  • Silver Spray Paint
  • Black Acrylic Paint + Brushes
  • Barbie
  • Gorilla Tape + Glue
  • A husband not only ready and willing to make this for you, but to dress in a gorilla onesie all night

As annoying as Walmart can be, you can find almost all of what you need there and the total will be under $50 (committed husband not included).

I should have known that my engineer/perfectionist husband wouldn’t just throw some tape onto cardboard and call it a costume. Even though he was working longer days at the office, he still spent a few hours every night building an amazing replica of the Empire State Building. It even lights up!

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While Joel was busy working on that, I carved our pumpkins, using nothing but a really dull knife. Any Rick and Morty fans out there? “I turned myself into a pumpkin, Morty. I’m Pumpkin RIIIIICK!” No? Okay…

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Last year, I really wanted to dress our cats up for Halloween, but since they were still so teeny tiny, we didn’t get a chance to… THIS YEAR, THOUGH…. Of course I bought our idiot cats costumes. Peter is a bumblebee and Sweet Dee is a ladybug. Best $14 I ever spent (thanks, Amazon!). Peter Nincompoop is getting so fat, though, that after I put his costume on he kept plopping himself down on the floor. I had to bribe both of them with a bag of cat treats to get them to cooperate for photos with a cardboard flower I made and taped to the wall. Eh, good enough.

 

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On Friday night, after one last costume fitting, I climbed into the back of an Uber with the Empire State Building while King Kong rode shotgun. We went to a local bar that was hosting a big bash, but were a little bit shocked to see that besides the waitstaff/bartenders, we were the only ones in costume. As the night progressed, though, more people showed up dressed up and we all danced the night away. Just imagine a giant box with legs sticking out of the bottom tearing up the dance floor with a Gorilla. It was hilarious and sooooo much fun, even though we lost the contest to a group dressed as things from Super Mario Bros. We did get a lot of validation from strangers along the lines of “you guys should have won!!!” as well as a million costume compliments so that made Joel’s hard work worth it!

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We spent the rest of the weekend watching Stranger Things and planning out what we’ll be next year. I can’t wait!

Some Beach, Somewhere.

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If you ever have a chance to take a giant, rainbow unicorn float to the beach, I highly suggest you DO IT. Christina bought this bad boy (who we affectionately named Dennis) for $25 at Costco this past winter and yesterday we brought him along with us to Port Aransas, our lifelong favorite beach/city to visit in the great state of Texas. After getting Dennis blown (up), we all hopped on and tried to stay on as my brother, Daniel, pulled us out into the waves. Although we had to karate chop the seaweed and swerve around the jellyfish (my sister, Annie, ended up getting stung on her back), it was still the most fun time ever! We felt like kids again!

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Love Bracelet/ Little Words Project

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Daniel ended up falling asleep on Dennis, so to wake him up I put some Fritos on his back so the seagulls could wake him up, ever so gently, as seagulls do. It. Was. Hilarious.

Best part of any Texas beach trip is going to Whataburger after to gorge on burgers, fries, and coffee flavored milkshakes while your sunburned butts stick to the plastic seats. Speaking of sunburns, this might be the worst one I’ve ever had… Here’s hoping I don’t spend my last couple of days in town in complete misery…

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