The World’s Worst Twins

I can’t help but laugh at the fact that I had almost nothing to do with the coolest thing about myself. All I had to do was be born. Let me explain: I was one half of a second set of twins born to a South Texas couple in the late eighties. My twin sister and I were on the front page of the San Antonio Light and we had our own spotlight segment on the local news. It gets better, too, because a year and a half later, they did it again! ANOTHER SET OF TWINS! My parents (God bless ’em!) had 3 sets of twins in under 4 years. Six kids in diapers became six hormonal teenagers. A family of 8 squeezed into a small, 3 bedroom ranch style home. Let that sink in.

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I touched on my roots briefly in this post, but have always felt compelled to write more about it all. Honestly, if we had been born 10 years later, we’d have our own reality show on TLC (Keeping Up With The Haase Twins or Two Sets Of Twins, Oh Wait There’s More). At the very least we’d have a book deal, but this is so much better. More authentic, ya know? Straight from the middle child’s mouth.

Growing up, I remember being out and about running errands (usually with one parent at a time!) and strangers would always stop to make the inevitable comment of “wow, looks like you’ve got a whole zoo there!” to which mom or dad would wittily reply “yes, and just like Noah, ours went two by two, too” or something along those lines. That’d get the whole twin conversation going, which never leaves anyone unimpressed.

Even now, after a lifetime of only knowing myself as part of this phenomenon, it still boggles my mind. I wrote a paper on us in my Child Development class in college that left my professor happily stunned. During the research phase of writing said paper, though, I learned that having multiple sets of fraternal twins isn’t nearly as rare as multiple sets of identical twins (1:500,000 compared to 1:11,000,000) but it’s still pretty damn impressive nonetheless!

My favorite question people ask us is if we’re fraternal or identical. You’d be surprised by how many people don’t realize that you can’t be identical to the twin of an opposite sex. Plus, the six of us barely pass as looking remotely related, let alone 3 sets of womb mates. That’s why we’re the world’s worst twins…

Last weekend was the first time all six of us had been together in over five years, so I took the opportunity to take updated photographs and introduce the rest of the brood on my blog.

Now, introductions!

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The infamous Haase twins (annoyingly out of order because Annie, 2nd from the left but 1st born, wanted to show her “good side”), Christmas 2012

SET 1: Annie and Brennan

Born September 1988. These two could not be more different. Physically alone, he’s tall with dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. She’s short with naturally blonde hair, green eyes, and lots of junk in the trunk. As far Annie and Brennan’s personalities go, they are once again on opposite ends of the spectrum. Growing up, she was the epitome of the first born, goody-two-shoes, while Brennan (along with yours truly!) was the family’s OG rebel child.

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SET 2: Sarah (me!) and Elizabeth (aka Bessie)

Born December 1989. We’re basically proof that my mom double ovulated. I am, very obviously, double the size of my twin and have been since birth. They called me “Moose” and her “Shrimp”. I wholeheartedly believe that if my mom hadn’t had the C-section when she did, Bessie would have been eaten in utero. Fun fact- she can only wink with her right eye and I can only wink with my left.

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SET 3: Rebekah and Daniel

Born June 1991. I like to think of these two as the “HOLY SHIT, IT’S TWINS AGAIN?!” set because that must have been my dad’s reaction to the news of two more kids. It’s crazy that the last set of twins are the ones who are most alike both physically and personality wise, even though they’re different genders. I mean, they both like country music and have really weird looking feet. They’re the twinniest twins of all compared to the rest of us.

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As you can probably imagine, growing up with this stone cold pack of weirdos was a trip. And yes our parents are obviously saints for dealing with it all. There were many fights had and pranks played, and even though I don’t think we could spend 12 hours with each other without someone getting punched, we still love each other. Last weekend, my little bro got married (making half of us Haases hitched) and it was such a great time being together and dancing the night away.

FYI to any mamas with multiple sets of twins, it’s so much harder to get them in a picture together when they’re adults! It was like herding cats trying to round us all up for these. We’d better frame ’em!

 

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2 thoughts on “The World’s Worst Twins

  1. Definitely not the COOLEST thing about you, but that is pretty wild! I feel like your brothers definitely have the same issue that mine does… we don’t look related and therefore whenever we’re together, everyone assumes we’re a couple. It pretty seriously harshes his game when he’s single, lol…

    Liked by 1 person

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