Joel and I are pretty much the epitome of “cat people”, but somehow when we adopted Peter and Dee last October, we got stuck with the most dog-like kittens I’ve ever met. Sweet Dee loves to play fetch with wrappers. Peter Nincompoop loves belly rubs and chasing his tail. Thank God they don’t have to be walked outside to poop or I’d contemplate a no refund return of these assholes (KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY, WE LOVE THEM WAY TOO MUCH!).
Last November, we put up our Christmas tree as a family of four and didn’t think much about what our
children cats would do about it. The next morning, on my way to turn on the coffee pot, I screamed as I cut my foot on something. When I turned on the lights, I saw that our floor was littered with broken ornaments. Cool! A few days later, after getting into the habit of turning the lights on before going downstairs, I saw a trail made of tufts of fur leading all the way from the tree up the stairs and into the bathroom… It was the stuffed raccoon ornament my mother-in-law had given me the year before, torn to shreds by Peter. Lovely!
Somehow, these little dummies were smart enough to do all of their dirty work when we were either asleep or at work. We’d come home and they’d practically say “it wasn’t me” when there’d be cat sized gaps in the Christmas tree (cat translation: “meow meowwww meow”). The cycle continued until we put away our Christmas tree early, before New Year’s Day whereas it used to stay up until Valentine’s. Womp Womp.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well, call us crazy because we not only put up the tree with our old glass ornaments, but we surrounded the kitty house with lights as well- definitely a recipe for disaster (see also: the fate of the cat in Christmas Vacation). The only preventative measure we took this year has been leaving our little Yoda dressed as Santa ornament in a cabinet far far away because Peter Boy will eat him; that and we now have a spray bottle that is used if they even look like they’re getting any ideas about messing with the tree/lights…
So far, so good. I’ve only seen 2 broken ornaments and the gold sequin tree skirt (it’s actually the sweetheart table tablecloth from our wedding) is only sometimes askew. Maybe our babies are just growing up! Most likely, though, keeping the spray bottle pointed at the tree through the night is helping to stop Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb from acting out…
Cats-2, Christmas Tree-0, Spray Bottle- (too many to count)