Goodbye, My Friends.

An accessory that I can’t live without: sunglasses.

An accessory that I, apparently, can’t live with because I lose almost them all too often: sunglasses.

Now that Summer (aka Sunglasses Season) is officially ending, I thought it’d be the perfect time to eulogize all of the sunglasses I’ve loved and lost over the years. Click here for background music while you read this post.

Ohhhh Oversized Matte Cat Eyes, you were the best. Why, oh why, did I have to sit on you when I got into my car, crushing you in half?! There is a happy ending to your story though, you were under $10, so I ordered the another pair. The memory of the first will live forever through the second pair (as long as I don’t sit on them too).

Marbled frames with blue mirrored lenses. Quay Australia. You were the most beautiful sunglasses I ever owned. Too bad my sister “accidentally” punched you off of my face in the Gulf Of Mexico this summer. Don’t worry, sunnies, we got our revenge when she got stung by that jellyfish soon after.

Sunglasses with an eyelet lace pattern on the frames? How unique you were! Too bad you had some screws loose and kept jumping off of my face. I wasn’t surprised when your lenses just popped right off and shattered. Nice knowin’ ya.

Wait… These clear acrylic frame sunnies aren’t even mine… I hope you’re still making Christina as happy as you made me for the 15 minutes you were part of my face.

 

Ohhhhh oversized mirrored Quays. You made me look like a super sexy fruit fly. You met your fate when I sat on you too. You’ve been on life support in my center console because I plan on super-glueing you back together someday. Don’t lose hope, I still love you!

Not really sure how you made it onto this post, $4 Forever 21 Light Blue glasses. You were crooked soon after I bought you and I don’t even care that you’re gone. #BYE.

Red Mirrored Quays. I tried you on at the store and Joel said “don’t buy those, they look weird” but I did anyway. According to my Instagram photos from 2015, we did everything together, sunnies! You were with me in The Netherlands, where the Dutch would whisper “look at that cool girl and her red mirrored sunglasses” as we’d stroll by. And remember when we went to Kennywood and decided we hate rollercoasters, sunnies, do you? You don’t. Because you’re lost. Claimed by the Caribbean Sea, when we were in the Dominican Republic for our friends’ wedding. I still think about you all the time.

I had all the heart eyes for these heart eye glasses… Where the hell are you, heart eye glasses? I can’t find you.

Not pictured in this post: the two pairs of Ray Bans I lost in Canyon Lake.

Note to self: stop wearing your good sunglasses in bodies of water, you fool.