How To Be Basic

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Basic Bitches are everywhere. You see them in the Winter, never without their North Face + Ugg Boot combo, and in the Summer with their hair in that annoying half Samurai bun and tank tops that say things like “Life Is Beautiful” or “I Woke Up Like This”. I was trying to make a pro/con list of the things Basic Bitches do/say/wear and was shocked when the pros started to totally totes outweigh the cons. Maybe it’s time for me… to embrace the Basic?!

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Here is a list of ways, both good and bad, to be a little more basic:

  • Order from the Starbucks Secret Menu, but only because you want your drink to match your outfit.
  • If you drink your Starbucks Secret Menu drink before you have time to photograph it, bitch, you better water down some almond milk and add some food coloring.
  • You could always just match your La Croix Water to whatever you’re wearing.
  • Make a choker out of a household item (I used a bathing suit strap, fastened with a bobby pin… but I had to take it off because it was, well, choking me.)
  • Change the inflection in all the sentences you say to make it sound like you’re asking a question, even when you’re not?

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  • Acceptable Snapchat filters for reposting to Instagram: Dog Filter, Flower Crown Filter, Butterfly/Cocaine Lip Filter.
  • You need to literally forget your significant other’s name. From here on out, He/She should only be referred to as “Bae”.
  • Have a Bath & Body Works frequent shopper card. Girl, you need those scented candles in your life.
  • Dress everyday like you’re going to Coachella #FestivalWearForever.
  • Have a favorite Kardashian (Khloe is the correct favorite, obvi).

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See?! It’s so easy! Also, being a BB means getting very excited for Fall BECAUSE THAT MEANS IT’S PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING, YOU GUYS!

8 thoughts on “How To Be Basic”

  1. i always feel like i’m just on the cusp of basic. just a little more la croix and a metallic temp tattoo and i’m there. but i should just embrace it.

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  2. Cocaine Lip is the perfect way to describe that filter. The Kardashians love it but it just makes me look weird. I wanna be BB but it’s just not meant to be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Like

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