A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Health and Fitness

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“I’m not an athletic person” = understatement of the year. When I see people running or hear people say things like “I’m gonna go for a quick run” I literally want to vomit because I have PTSD from when we had to run a mile in middle school gym class. Biking too. I want to like biking so badly! One time, my BFF and I rode our bikes to the CVS a third of a mile away to buy peanut butter m&ms and I complained, and probably cried, the whole way home. I obviously didn’t complain going to get snacks… duh. Joel chooses biking as his exercise of choice and last year he took me to this cool local park to go on a ride with him. My blood pressure spiked on our car ride to the park because I wasn’t sure if our relationship could survive me on a bike and him near me. 5 miles later, I was sweaty and red faced and ready to break up with the love of my life, but I couldn’t find him because he was already on his third lap.

After getting engaged and knowing that I not only wanted to fit into a form fitting wedding dress, but look good in a form fitting wedding dress, I knew I’d have to find an exercise regime that fit my lazy fitness preference. That, and I’d have to cut back on beer and pizza. Long story short, I’ve done it. I feel goooood and I feel like I look good. People keep asking me if I’ve lost weight, which I can’t technically answer because I don’t own a scale, but I’m pretty sure I have. Okay, I’m positive I’ve lost weight, but more importantly I’ve been getting better about making healthier choices. Here’s a glimpse at what I do:

  • My daily workout includes about 10 minutes of yoga (but really I’m just stretching? is that the same as real yoga?), 10  15 lb kettle bell squats, 25 crunches, 10 push-ups, and maybe I’ll do some lifts with the kettle bell if I feel like it. This “workout” takes 15 minutes of my day.
  • Sometimes, when I’m waiting for something to cook in the microwave, I drop and give myself 15 squats.
  • My day job has me chasing a 1 year old and a 3 year old around ALL. DAMN. DAY.
  • Sometimes, when I’m waiting for the 3 year old to finish up in the bathroom, I hold the 1 year old and do squats.
  • I drink soooo much water. I’ve noticed I’ve been drinking a lot more water since getting a nice water bottle with a straw that I can easily refill all day.
  •  I don’t drink alcohol at all on weeknights. And on weekends, I switched to wine instead of beer. And, yeah, on Friday nights I can kill an entire bottle of red by myself, but I’m pretty sure that’s still less calories.
  • I’ve adopted the Joel Blumer method of eating: Eat healthy stuff on weekdays/nights and save the pizza for the weekend.

Why did no one ever tell  me that being healthy isn’t hard. I would have started a long time ago…

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One thought on “A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Health and Fitness”

  1. Hey sis just so you know ANY type of alcohol increases HDLs in the blood (that’s the good cholesterol), so, bottoms up!!! 🍻🍺🍾🍷🍸🍹

    Like

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