I’ll be honest with you, it was “beginning to look a lot like Christmas” at about midnight on November 1st. I know that’s crazy early, but in my defense, I had nothing to do with the Christmas tree finding it’s merry little way into our living room because I was in a completely different part of the house, passed out in my Katy Perry costume. I am definitely pro early Christmas, though, because I feel like if you wait until after Thanksgiving it all goes by too quickly. I want holiday life to slowly marinate in ornaments and garland and stockings while being serenaded by Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You on repeat. I want that yuletide to be super gay.
Joel and I adopted a child last weekend. Well, we adopted a child sized Storm Trooper and named him Jermaine and we love him like a son. We won him at Joel’s company’s White Elephant party, because when a bunch of engineers buy anonymous gifts for each other, you know at least 1/3 will be Star Wars themed…
That blank gray wall in the picture above is bugging the living shit out of me. I know what I want to go there, but I haven’t made the time to print it out and frame it and hang it, jeez.
When I was a kid, my mom would make hella Christmas cookies from scratch to give out as gifts to family members, friends, neighbors, and teachers. She would bake bake bake all the live long day. Snickerdoodles, gender neutral gingerbread people, sugar cookies, and whatever the fuck else counts as a holiday cookie. You name it, she baked it. I remember always loving the idea of being my mom’s sous chef, but I would never stick around to help out, or I’d be too distracted by dancing to the Celine Dion Christmas album playing in the background.
I like to make cookies from scratch for my loved ones too. Here’s my top secret recipe that only has two ingredients:
- pre-made cookie dough from the grocery store, the cheapest kind they have.
- questionable morals because you’re going to have to lie to everyone you know…
Ahhhhh, cheers to Christmastime! (aka getting drunk and watching our favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard.)