You know that old saying “you only turn 16 once in your life so you better have a big party”? Well, first of all, I made that up so you have literally never heard it until just now and secondly, it’s so not true. The first time I turned 16 was not so sweet. I got the standard $25 birthday check from my grandma and I don’t even remember having a party.
The older I get, the wiser I become, and it might have been the wisest decision of my life to celebrate the 10th anniversary of my 16th birthday with a super sweet 16 party. Unfortunately, maybe this whole getting older thing is also dumbing me down because I did the thing that no 16 year old wants to do: share the spotlight. Since his actual birthday is 3 days before mine, I asked my friend Nick to come be worshiped along side me. He was 2 hours late and got to make a grand entrance which was only a little bit annoying (I wanted to make a grand entrance!).
Anyway, here are some party pictures and notes about how to throw a SUPER sweet 16.
No party is complete without a celebrity guest and since Amy Schumer completely ignored my Instagram invitation, we almost didn’t have one…. drama, right?!… Luckily my crazy cousin decided to surprise me and fly in from Texas. As a celebrity guest, she did not disappoint. She may or may not have gulped down an entire bottle of red wine (straight from the bottle) and dirty danced with our ottoman. It was awesome. I love her so much.
Even though my sister spent a good portion of her week getting stoned in Denver, CO, she still made the time to make this beautiful cake. It’s pink and covered in sprinkles and the candle holder is a chandelier so, um, yeah, she nailed it.
What sweet 16 would be complete without girls taking selfies and ignoring each other?!
The cake was so pretty, I almost didn’t want to allow anyone to eat it.
Nick did a great job sticking with the black tie theme of our party. Some people showed up in jeans and since our bouncer was off duty at the time, I had no choice but to let them in.
Like, not to be a bitch, but Joel knows how much I hate red roses and these roses are so dark pink that they almost look red. I had to excuse myself from the party for 20 minutes to lock myself in the bathroom and cry about this fact.
Obviously I had multiple outfit changes. I had 4 outfit changes total, and 3 friends to help with them. Have you ever seen a gay man try to unhook a bra? It’s hilarious. No but seriously, thank you Amanda, Alex, and Andy for helping me get that dress on! You guys are now on an ever expanding list of people who have seen my butt.
While the 2000s hip hop station on Pandora blasted in the background, guests of the party could enjoy a slideshow with pictures of Nick and myself. You’re welcome.
I love these assholes. I had to get a picture of me with a group of people to show my mom that I do have friends.
If you’re feeling guilty because you forgot to wish me a happy birthday, don’t worry about it… my actual birthday isn’t until Tuesday so you have plenty of time to put those checks in the mail.