NYE 2015

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New Year’s Eve, or the holiday with the highest expectations and most exuberant letdowns, is upon us once again. For the first time, maybe ever, I’m excited about our plans for the night. I peer pressured some of our besties, Nick and Sarah, to host a party at their house, which is conveniently located down the street. Because fuck going to a bar on NYE.

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I realize now what New Year’s Eve is and is not about. It’s not about where you go, it’s about who you’re with and, more importantly, what you wear. Last year, I had a case of the gastroenteritis out the a-hole (literally); I got all dressed up in my sequin mini dress + Louboutins, had a quick barf before leaving the house, paid the $10 cover to get into a shady bar where I immediately begged to go home because I needed to vom again. It took every ounce of concentration not to be sick all over the back seat of the Lyft car. Without getting into the dirty details (like the color of all of this vomit, which was a weird shade of yellow) I will tell you that the moral of the story is this: I was happy to ring in the new year with the love of my life even though it was spent on the bathroom floor and I couldn’t actually see Joel because he was standing behind me, holding back my hair, but I knew he was there. That my friends, is a great New Year’s! I lost, like, 3 pounds.

Another necessity for NYE is sequins. Or something sparkly. I want to shine like the top of the freaking Chrysler building. I want to literally stop traffic. I want to… ah shit, I ran out of shiny metaphors.

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So whether you’re going out and dancing the night away or staying in and drinking your sorrows, I hope you have a happy and safe New Year! Let’s make 2015 our bitch.

xoxo, S

 

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The Blonde Bloggers

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My future father-in-law has told me, on multiple occasions, that sometimes it’s not what you know, but who you know, you know? I think he was specifically talking about his daughter (my future sister-in-law), Laura. She is one of our family’s very own celebrities (after this post goes live, I’ll consider myself a celebrity as well). Not only is she a staff writer for the world famous A Beautiful Mess, but she has her own personal blog that, like, legit rules. (We even collaborated one time before).
When you get to know a person by following them all over the Internet, there’s a chance you don’t actually know him/her at all… Since I have a real life, personal relationship with @gummergal, I want to take this opportunity to let the rest of the world get to really know the real Laura Gummerman.
1. Describe your style in 1-5 words. Either extremely casual or slightly outrageous. (e.i. t-shirt and jeans or long feather dress).
[I’m no mathematician, but that was more than 5 words]
2. Who is your #1 style icon? Heidi Klum on her days off mixed with Brigitte Bardot.
3. Besides your winning personality/sense of humor, what is your best feature? (smile? hair? boobs? idk) Hmmm, I probably get the most hair compliments from strangers so I’ll say hair. And I think I actually have pretty decent hands which is why I’m branching into professional hand modeling like George from Seinfeld. I’ve already let it go to my head.
4. What song would you want to play when you walk into a room that would make you feel like a badass? You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC

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5. What beauty product(s) can you not live without? Three things. Eyebrow pencil (I have, like, no eyebrows otherwise), under eye concealer stick, and coconut oil for my supes dry face.
6. Are you currently binge watching anything, Netflix or otherwise? Re-watching The Mindy Project so I can get to the new episodes that just came out and we just caught up on Last Man on Earth all in one night recently. Mindy is my jaaaaaam.
7. What is your favorite Halloween costume you’ve ever had? Probably when I recreated the red dress and was Buttercup from The Princess Bride. Todd shaved the grossest little pencil mustache to be Westley, but it was awesome!
8. If you and Todd (your husband) could take another international vacation together, where would you want to go? I’d go straight back to Paris! This time I’d head down to the southern coast as well though so we’d get some beach action in.
9. Does Todd agree with your previous answer? Totally! We didn’t want to leave at all when it was time to go! Croissants, late dinners, people watching, authentic Italian pizza…it’s my spot.
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10. Besides my winning personality/sense of humor, what is your favorite thing about me? How you are the perfect mix of JLaw and Amy Schumer, how we always like the same exact things, and happy you make my brother (tear face emoji).
11. When you found out that your little brother was dating someone, did you find me online? i.e. cyber stalk? Duhzizes! Of course. I was glad to see how funny you were, but the internet did not prepare me for how tall you are in person…I totally felt like a pocket Kardashian when I hugged you.
12. What is your favorite thing about writing your own blog? That it’s all about MEEEEE!!! JK. That I can do whatever I want whenever I want. It’s a pretty casual set-up since it’s for fun and not my main source of income, so I just post whatever I like. And I like to hear from other Band Wives that are like, “Yo. This life is cray-cray, right? Thanks for keeping it real.” And I’m like, “Word girl, you know I do what I do.” It’s a little weird community.
13. What are your least and top favorite current fashion trends? Uh, least is the “homeschooled in the 90’s” look with the tiny flower print culottes and favorite trend is “cool in school in the 90’s” with grungy influenced ripped denim and plaid options.
14. What’s your drink of choice? Boring old red wine because it’s low in sugar and my weird body does well with that sort of thing. Favorite gross bar/bowling alley drink is a cherry cheesecake with vanilla vodka and cranberry juice. It’s 100% sugar.
15. Give me an example of your biggest fashion mistake and your biggest fashion win. Biggest fashion mistake was when I was 13 and liked the baggy jean look but didn’t actually own any baggy jeans so I took my low crotch overalls and tucked the bib and straps into the inside of the pants. Voila! Baggy crotch pants! The buckles inside the legs would jingle when I walked and my sister Rachel would only walk 20 feet behind me when we went to the mall. Biggest win? Maybe my all black ensemble I wore in Paris this summer. A feather skirt, cropped boxy top, ankle breaking heels and a vintage pink Hermes scarf- on point son!
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There you have it, folks, a little insight to your other favorite blonde blogger. And if you were wondering, yes, Laura is just as beautiful in person. Sometimes I stare at her face to find maybe a single pore(?) and have had no such luck. More important than looks, though, is her sense of humor. She is one of only two or three people who is funnier than me, which means she is DEFINITELY funnier than you. Love you, Lah-Rah!

Me So Hungry

I’m sure I’m not the only one who gains, like, 10 pounds every single holiday season. (there is so much good food and beer just laying around at any minute, and who cares I’m on vacation!) It’s okay though because I almost always make a New Years Resolution that revolves around losing my Christmas food baby which I never hold up (New Years Resolutions are made to be immediately broken, and pizza is good).

With this whole wedding thing coming up and my desire to fit into my wedding dress, I’m going to try to take it easy on all the treats this year. If I just look at pictures of things that are delicious, maybe that’ll tide me over until May?

 

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Merry eve of the eve of the eve of Christmas Eve, everyone! I can smell the pumpkin roll baking downstairs, so I’ve barricaded myself in my room for the night…

Baby, It’s Not That Cold Outside

A wise woman once told me that one of the topics that you’re not supposed to talk about is the weather. I can see why money, politics, religion, and even traffic are no no topics of chit chat at dinner parties, but weather? C’mon, weather is interesting. I love bringing up the weather when there’s a lull in the conversation or as small talk because it is THE cliche thing to do.

I’m from Texas, a place where winter basically doesn’t even exist, so I really appreciate this whole Indian Summer thing Mother Nature has blessed the Northeastern U.S. with. Thanks, giiiirl! Unfortately, I am acutely aware that Winter Is Coming. Shit Snow happens, and it’s nice to be prepared.

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This past weekend, Joel and I went to see Mutemath play in Detroit and I was only mildly ready for that whole lake effect cold wind bullshit. I wore a turtle neck and my amazing new buffalo plaid coat. Do you see how cute I look?! Probably not because the wind blew my hair in my face in most of these…

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Here’s the thing about turtle necks… Yes, they partially remind me of Audrey Hepburn, but they also lead my thoughts down a dark path that I can’t really figure out… When I put on a turtle neck, I think of Shar Peis- you know those wrinkly ass dogs? and then I think of how on Sex And The City, Charlotte was dating a guy who was uncircumcised and she compared him to a Shar Pei and do people think I look like a walking penis?!

Be honest, do I look like a dick?

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So anyway, the weather, am I right?!

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Christmas & Chill

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I’ll be honest with you, it was “beginning to look a lot like Christmas” at about midnight on November 1st. I know that’s crazy early, but in my defense, I had nothing to do with the Christmas tree finding it’s merry little way into our living room because I was in a completely different part of the house, passed out in my Katy Perry costume. I am definitely pro early Christmas, though, because I feel like if you wait until after Thanksgiving it all goes by too quickly. I want holiday life to slowly marinate in ornaments and garland and stockings while being serenaded by Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You on repeat. I want that yuletide to be super gay.

Joel and I adopted a child last weekend. Well, we adopted a child sized Storm Trooper and named him Jermaine and we love him like a son. We won him at Joel’s company’s White Elephant party, because when a bunch of engineers buy anonymous gifts for each other, you know at least 1/3 will be Star Wars themed…

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That blank gray wall in the picture above is bugging the living shit out of me. I know what I want to go there, but I haven’t made the time to print it out and frame it and hang it, jeez.

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When I was a kid, my mom would make hella Christmas cookies from scratch to give out as gifts to family members, friends, neighbors, and teachers. She would bake bake bake all the live long day. Snickerdoodles, gender neutral gingerbread people,  sugar cookies, and whatever the fuck else counts as a holiday cookie. You name it, she baked it. I remember always loving the idea of being my mom’s sous chef, but I would never stick around to help out, or I’d be too distracted by dancing to the Celine Dion Christmas album playing in the background.

I like to make cookies from scratch for my loved ones too. Here’s my top secret recipe that only has two ingredients:

  1. pre-made cookie dough from the grocery store, the cheapest kind they have.
  2. questionable morals because you’re going to have to lie to everyone you know…

Ahhhhh, cheers to Christmastime! (aka getting drunk and watching our favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard.)

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s A Sarah Thing

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When Beyoncé asked us all the rhetorical question of “who runs the world?” I think the answer she wanted was a little more specific than just “girls”. I’m pretty sure what Bey was trying to say was “girls…. named Sarah“. WE RUN THIS MOTHER.

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I really can’t speak for any of the Allisons, Margarets, or Suzies of the world, because my name has only ever been Sarah, but I think that all of the Sarahs (and even Saras) out there feel a weirdly powerful solidarity with each other. It’s like Girl Power on methamphetamine. I mean, have you ever met a Sarah you didn’t just love?! Here are five of my favorite Sarahs:

  1. Sarah Wissinger -this Sarah, or Surzy as I like to call her, is in the pictures in this post with me. She is a DIY blogger with the prettiest resting bitch face I have ever seen. I’m so glad that once I found out she too lived in Pittsburgh I creepily asked her to hang out. She’s one of the only people who isn’t afraid to tell me to shut up, which scares me, but I like it at the same time.
  2. Sarah Lapp- Ohhhhh My God. This Sarah is my Internet twin. She is the CEO of Daisy Natives and she has the best snapchat stories I have ever seen!
  3. Sara Longsworth–  She technically spells her name wrong, but I don’t care because she is freaking adorable. Sara’s Instagram is filled with amazing murals and cute cat pictures and it makes me feel all the feels.
  4. Sarah Rhodes– I want every single print in Sarah’s online print shop. This chick is talented AF.
  5. Sara Tramp– another Sarah sans H, but we’re making another exception because, well, it’s a Sarah thing to do.

The first Sarah and I plan on having many many “Sarah Style” blog posts in the future, unfortunately almost all of our pictures came out blurry this time around.

Whether your parents named you Sarah because their friends had stolen their number one name pick (Amanda?), or because you were concieved to the Hall and Oates song “Sarah Smiles”, or because they wanted something strong and biblical  for their 3rd born (talkin’ to you, mom) know that you are loved by all Sarahs, but especially this Sarah.We are freaking princesses.  XOXO.

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No Coffee, Mo’ Problems

 

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It’s weird that there are people in the world who can begin their day without coffee. Coffee = life. I would cease to exist without coffee. Okay, I would still “exist”, but I’d be really cranky about existing.

I’ve been drinking the black nectar of the gods for a long time now. I started drinking coffee at the tender age of 10, which is why, at 5’7″, I don’t believe the rumors that caffeine stunts your growth. I do, however, believe the rumors that coffee can prevent cancer. As a 2-3 cup a day gal, I hope that’s true.

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I think that how a person takes their coffee says a lot about them. For instance, I drink it black, whether it’s a cold brew, French Press, or regular old drip coffee. That says I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t have time to fuck around. Joel drinks half or full decaf with cream and sugar, which makes him my super chill counterpart. My cousin drinks her coffee with so much flavored creamer that I’m like “yo, you want some coffee with that milk?!” which just means she’s a girly girl. My dad doesn’t drink coffee at all, but prefers iced tea all year round… I don’t know what that means other than I’d think I was adopted if we didn’t look so much alike.

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Coffee is just the freaking best… I have a coffee body scrub (from here) that makes my skin feel fantastic and silky and smooth. Coffee is also a natural remedy for cellulite. Coffee is nature’s laxative. Coffee smells really good (I personally hang out in the coffee aisle of the grocery store more than I care to admit). Coffee . Coffee. COFFFFEEEEEEE.

 

 

*Coffee and coffee accessories also make wonderful holiday gifts*